January 2019 – Joseph Dane

Toxic Lovesong Watch: Runaround Sue Edition

January 26, 2019

Uncategorized

This is a classic song from the 1960s with a great beat and a fun chorus. But it’s incredibly sexist.

Here’s my story, it’s sad but true

About a girl that I once knew

She took my love, then ran around

With every single guy in town

Here’s what I think actually happened. I think Sue was just really popular. She was a hot, smart girl who lived in a small town with lots of boring small town guys (and it must have been a pretty small town if one woman could go out with all the guys in it). She wasn’t going to settle down with the first guy who was interested. She had lots of options. So she played the field.

Unfortunately, every guy she went on a date with was boring. So she thought, “Well, this guy’s just like all the others. Maybe if I make out with him, there’ll be some kind of spark there”. Nothing.

So she said thanks, but no thanks, and moved on to the next small town guy. Good for her.

Now instead of being mature about this and saying “Well, I guess Sue and I didn’t have any chemistry. I’ll pursue someone else”, Dion turned around and wrote a slut-shaming song about how Sue “stole his heart” and then ran around with everybody else. Kind of a dick move, don’t you think?

But here’s the real kicker: the same guy who wrote Runaround Sue also came out with The Wanderer less than a year later, an upbeat pseudo-blues about how no woman can tie him down. Can you believe the hypocrisy?! The very thing he was so upset at Sue for doing!

Sample lyric:

Oh well, I’m the type of guy who will never settle down

Where pretty girls are, well you know that I’m around

I kiss ’em and I love ’em cause to me they’re all the same

I hug ’em and I squeeze ’em they don’t even know my name

They call me the wanderer

Yeah, the wanderer

I roam around, around, around

It’s almost eerie how that last line parallels the bridge from Runaround Sue (“she likes to travel around…”). I can’t believe no one in the band or at the label noticed this and said “Hey isn’t it a little hypocritical that we’re putting out a song that celebrates a man doing the same thing a woman was shamed for in the last single we put out?”

Thankfully, not all the songs from the 1960s were this bad. Take a look at the first line of “Something stupid”:

I know I stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me

And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there’s a chance you won’t be leaving with me

Ouch, that line kind of hurts. But he’s not angry about it. He doesn’t use it to slut-shame the woman. He still tells her he loves her in the chorus, though he realizes this is “something stupid” to say. He knows she’s got other options, and he doesn’t begrudge her for it. He respects her for being smart enough to know that when most guys talk to her about romance, it’s just a line that she’s heard many times before.

I like this song so much, I recorded a cover of it:

Toxic Lovesong Watch: Blue October Edition

January 13, 2019

Uncategorized

(I’ve decide to start a series where we analyze how creepy, needy, possessive, or just plain weird some popular lovesongs can be. The goal is not to shame the songwriters or call for banning of the songs in question, just to think a little bit more carefully about the messages in some of our favorite songs.)

I first heard this song because when I was in Mexico, our band was hired to do a wedding, and this was the couple’s special song for their first dance. Because I had to learn it right away, the first thing I did was look at the lyrics, which is different from how most people experience a song. And boy, what lyrics! I was blown away by the creepy neediness.

The verse starts out harmlessly enough (although I suppose we could read a thinly veiled threat into the words “You’ll never take that away”):

It’s something I can’t quite explain

I’m so in love with you

You’ll never take that away

And if I’ve said a hundred times before

Expect a thousand more

You’ll never take that away

But then the pre-chorus just kicks it into crazy territory:

So expect me to be

Calling you to see

If you’re okay when I’m not around

Asking “if you love me”

I love the way you make it sound

Calling you to see

Do I try too hard to make you smile?

To make a smile

Wow! Can you imagine what a guy would do if he had a girlfriend who wouldn’t stop calling him to see if he’s okay when she’s not around? Constantly asking “Do you love me?” (Side-note: only ask that question repeatedly if you’re hoping the answer will turn into a “No”).

“Do I try too hard to make you smile?” Yes, dude. I know nothing about your relationship, but I think it’s safe to say that you’re trying too hard to make her smile.

Now the chorus, which gets even creepier:

Well I will keep calling you to see

If you’re sleeping are you’re dreaming

If you’re dreaming, are you dreaming of me

I can’t believe you actually picked me

Can you imagine your partner calling you in the middle of the night to see if you’re sleeping?

“Hey, honey it’s me”

“It’s the middle of the night. Why are you calling me? Is everything okay?”

“Were you sleeping?”

“Well, yeah! It’s 3am”

“Were you dreaming of me?”

“No, I was dreaming about how great it would be to have a boyfriend who doesn’t call me in the middle of the night to ask what I was dreaming about!”

And then, as if that weren’t enough, he ends it with “I can’t believe you actually picked me.” There’s so much self-loathing and insecurity in this statement. It’s normal to feel lucky when you land someone really special, but for goodness’ sake, try to express it with a little more confidence. When we were rehearsing this song, I changed this line to “I can’t believe you actually picked this song!”

I do have to admit that this song has a really good melody and a terrific chord progression, but the lyrics are completely fucking nuts! I want to believe that the guy who wrote it is not actually this insecure and was making an ironic statement about how needy people can get when they’re in love, but the melody is just so sincere it’s hard for me to interpret it that way. Let’s hope he’s grown out of this desperate young insecure love style since then.

Monthly Archives: January 2019

Toxic Lovesong Watch: Runaround Sue Edition

Toxic Lovesong Watch: Blue October Edition